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Monday, February 9th, 2009
6:53 am
Mod Post
Sorry about that... I woke up this morning to find that the community had been spammed. It's been taken care of.

The community has been pretty inactive, and I apologize for that. I haven't worked collections in a few years, so I haven't had any interesting tales to tell for quite some time.
Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
10:30 pm
We had a guy claiming he'd paid the entire original bill to the client over a year ago. He'd said he had proof of payment.
He took a statement for the payment he did make (1/3 of the original balance) and faxed it in three times. The page numbers, check numbers, dates, and transaction numbers are all identical. He is persisting in his claim that he made three payments for the same dollar ammount, with the same check number, and we just aren't seeing it.
Thursday, July 27th, 2006
7:16 pm
and where the hell are our comics????? :)
7:13 pm
"Blaming government conspiracy isn't going to help the fact your 52 days past due, Ma'am"
Friday, May 26th, 2006
7:35 pm
What a way to end the week...
I beat out everyone from our "installment group" in checks today..yaaaayyy! This is definetly a first! I hope everyone has a fabulous memorial day weekend!!!!!
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
9:28 pm
I've been writing like a dozen of my little stick figure 'cartoons' (I use the word very loosely). I'm only posting what I think are the best of the best. What do you think? Do you care to see more or am I wasting bandwidth? This group has been dead for months so I figure a little levity is in order.

8:53 am

Well, I've never posted here before but I am very glad I found this wonderful place for me to bitch. 
A little background on my place of employment: 
I work an oil and gas environmental servicing company in Canada.  Basically we do clean up for well sites and other environmentally hazardous disasters that happen across Canada.  I work in a smaller department of a larger company  that in turn is owned by a large drilling company.  I am the only one who does collections for this division.  I've been here for about 4 months so the lady before me has obviously left the collections in a mess.  My 120+ is like 40% of total outstanding.
So here is my customer WTF?
I have been trying to collect from this O&G company for 3 months.  Her invoice is well over 120 days but its not like we can just cut off the company sice its a fairly large O&G Company as well.   Every month the lady in A/P has given me some run around how she can't find it and needs me to fax it , needs more info or will get back to me when she contacts the person who is supposed to be approving it for payment.  After faxing and refaxing the "lost" invoice to her several times and never getting a call backl, I have decided that I obviously have to be her mother and follow up with her every 48 hours to make sure its getting somewhere.   This month I have been leaving messages every second day and she now has just stopped returning my calls.   I FINALLY get a hold of her and she says, "Hold on, I just have to bring up the account."  I say that's fine so she puts me on hold.  I then suddenly realize that she has tranferred me to someone I have never heard of in her company and this guy does something, as far as i know, that has nothing to do with what I am collecting.  So I leave a message on this guys voicemail incase he has ANY IDEA wtf I am talking about.  After I hang up all confused I called this lady back to bascially ask her what happened and...I get her voicemail.  So I leave a message for her.  She never calls back.  I have called her six times in the last two days and still, no response.
Who does that?  You can't just forward unsuspecting collectors to some guy in your company and not explain what is going on!!  WTF?
SO FRUSTRATING!!!11!!!!!oneone!!1

Current Mood: aggravated
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
9:50 pm
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
9:32 pm
9:11 pm
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
12:12 pm
1:09 am
Just wanted to say hi! I was looking for a community to support professional bill collectors and I found this community (yaay). I work for a business and I work in their collection department. I do mostly auto loan collections but sometimes I handle mortgages as well. I have a few stories to tell and I'm sure I'll come up with a few more along the way.
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
9:24 am
ok, i forgot this one.

me: all knowing, all seeing, all repo'ing collections lady
cs: there is a small place in hell reserved for this level of white trash, thankfully far far away from the rest of us.
r: my totally awesome repo agent

me: *ringring* hello is *cs* there?
cs: yeah....
me:...can I talk to her?
cs: it's me, whaddya want?

ok, first of all, i hate that. if you are said person, kindly say so. dont' make me consult the aligning of the stars and moons to determine who the flying fuck you are.

me: i'm calling about your car, it is currently 3 months past due. we need to make arrangements for you to pay this or for us to pick it up.
cs: oh, yeah, i meant to call you guys.

(side note, no bitch, you didnt'...it's been months of us leaving messages, no response, i highly doubt today was the day you woke up and thought, " yeah, i'm calling them today")

me: ok...well, anyway, about the payments, what are you intending on doing with this account?
cs: oh, i got one payment i can send you tomorrow through western union....

this was at 3 in the afternoon

me: well, mamn, i can assure you it would be in your best interest to send that off today through western union and call me back with the tracking number. your car is up for repossession and that won't stop until we have a tracking number confirming your payment.
cs: oh, yeah, i understand...i'll send that out tomorrow afternoon.
me: i'll notate your account with your intentions, but understand, there are no arrangements, and you account remains out for repossession.

*20 min later*

me: *canned greeting*
me: (i recognized the voice, but still) mamn, can i get your account number?
cs: *scream scream yell* gives account number
me: *overjoyed as i see that it was the flip woman i talked to a few min before.* so they are hooking up the vehicle right now?
cs: yes they are here and their are taking my car and *cue whiny voice* you didnt telllllllll me!
me:... yes mamn, i did tell you. quite clearly in fact.
cs: no, you talk to this "repo agent" and tell him to put it back down.

so she puts my agent on the phone, and these guys dont give a fuck, there isnt a customer service bone in their bodys

me: hey R
r: hey, so she's flipping out here....
me: yeah, i know, take it. it's on the hook, just go with it. i told her, no shit, 20 min ago this might happen, and she brushed off the urgency, so oh well.
r: 20 min huh, what a moron.
me: yeah, you gotta love those "cause and effect" repo's

so long story short...he took the car, but called me later to tell me that she tried to flash my 2 agents out there to get them to give her the car back, and one of the agents spent most of his time trying to keep her 5 year old son from sucking on the diesel trucks exhaust pipe.

moral: when i tell you to pay, or something you dont' want will happen, i'm not talking out my ass.
Monday, November 1st, 2004
8:45 pm
recap...collector for auto finance company:

me: collections goddess
cs: wouldnt have won a contest of wits with 1/2 box of rocks.

me:*canned(albit pissy)greeting*hey, i'm in collections, what do you want*g*
CS:(no shit, first words out of his mouth) yeah, i want to know, did you repossess my car (here it comes folks) WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!11OMGI'MASTUPIDDUMBASS1!1!

i couldnt help it. i laughed at him. like full on, laughed. and i am pretty good at keeping that in check, and usingmy mute button, but come on now. and the moron was 4 months past due.

me: again, with the goddess thing
cs: oh, yeah, come on and breed will ya lady...we need more of you around.

me: blah, this is swingangel.
cs:um, so you all took my car.....
me: and.....what can i help you with.
cs: well, see i had some stereo equipment that i wanted to get back
me: unfortunatly, the contract you signed states on the back, if your car should be repossessed, all things attached to the vehicle are considered property of the company, and will not be returned.
cs: oh....well, what about my rims, i just bought them......
me: ok, lets go over this. how do rims get on your car.
cs: uh, i put them on...with the tires....hey, can i get those back too? i just put them on last week.
me: lets back up for a sec....how did you put the rims and tires on?
cs: with a jack....and lugnuts...
me: ok. lets stop there. lugnuts. so, you are telling me they are attached to the car?
cs: yeah...
me: attached. you. do. not. get. them. back. should have spent that money on your car payment and not low profiles.
cs: but....
me: no. that's it. no.

how do i love my job...let me count the ways *grin*
Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
9:21 pm
ok.....you tell me.

customer=ah how loose that term is with him....
me=goddess of all that removes your car from your non bill paying hands

cs: so, you took my car this morning....
me: mmm-hmmm....and how can I help you?(i love being ultra polite in that bitchy way when we already have their car)
cs: well, you took my car...i want it back
me: no. (he starts huffing at this point) no really, i mean it, you have to pay off the loan, which is about 35,000 right now, plus repo expenses before you are getting it back
cs: well, i want them to hand deliver my stuff to my house, and (oh, this is where it gets good) I want you to compensate me for lost wages for today, since I couldnt get to work without my car.(insert whiny self important voice here)
me: ah....well sir, as you havent paid us in 3 and a half months...i really dont see where you get off asking US to pay you anything....you do know finance works the other way around..right?
cs: (i can almost see his lower lip pouting out....and here it comes...) I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!!!
me: well, guess what...I'm the only person you're going to get...you owe us 35,000 plus repo costs, or it gets sold at auction. end of story. we don't want to business with someone who hasnt' paid one payment on time in a year. I mean really, what did you think was going to happen hmmm? (my favorite line here) why don't you flip over that legal and binding contract you signed and tell me where it says you can pay when you want, with no consequences? cause if you find that, I will give you your car back...in fact I will personally drive it out to you. now then, since that is all out of the way, what exactly is it that I can do for you....you no longer have an active loan with us...
cs: sputter...sputter...manager...sputter....*click*

ah, how i love my job.....props to all you in cust service, cause after this job, well...once you go collections you cant go back :)
Friday, October 8th, 2004
4:10 pm
Newbie post...
I have been working in 3rd party collections for over 3 1/2 years now. I've been a supervisor with a crew of 10-25 collectors for the last 1 1/2 years. I've heard just about everything but today I had a call that really took the cake.
More below the foldCollapse )
Monday, September 27th, 2004
7:28 pm
ok..i just couldnt let this go without posting....

recap: i work in auto finance, in collections.

best line heard from a customer in the 4 years i have been doing this

"why'd you repo my car...I was using it!"

collector response?
(mind you, this guy is the guy you would always want your collector to be, he is so nice and polite)

"well, at 4 months past due, the key word there is -was-"

i love that man :)

that was the phrase of the day today.

Thursday, August 19th, 2004
10:22 pm
oh...and in a posting frenzy...here is another one

when you call me to tell me your car got repo'd.....

don't ask me how I sleep at night...cause I will tell you....

"well, pretty good, well except for my cat hogging the bed, but otherwise, not to bad...you?"

yes, i am a smartass(how I love my job)

and you are just an ass.....cause when you are 4 months past due, and i have to chase you all over hell and back looking for that car.....well, how do you sleep at night? cause if it were me, and i was past due 4 months and in hiding over a fucking 98 honda.....i'd be a bit paranoid personally.....
10:13 pm
i work in collections for an auto finance comp....

your car is up for repo....

when you call in.....

and i tell you "sir, you are going to be walking tomorrow if you don't pay this right now"......



Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
5:39 pm
Let me just say....starting out your conversation with your friendly auto collections rep with "well, i just got back from europe on a 2 month vacation, and i need to talk about those past due payments.." does not bode well for you....trust me. we cant afford a 2 month vaca to europe, and we pay all our bills(which is why...) and wanting me to give you more time, or extend you out is just not going to happen. sorry. bugger off now. If someone died, or something major happened in your life, i will work with you as far as i can...but come on now, if you went on VACATION???

hope it was worth it when you are walking to work.
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